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Why is separation so difficult and why does it produce so much anxiety? Until approximately six years of age, young children are highly dependent on others for caretaking, and staying close is one of the brain’s biggest preoccupations.1
When toddlers are apart from you, they might feel a strong need to be back by your side, since they crave the familiarity and security you provide.2
Below are some tips for easing the worry whenever you walk out the door.
Keep your goodbyes quick. Whenever you want to leave your kid, inform him in advance then keep your goodbye brief. The most important tip is to avoid sneaking out, which can cause him to worry that you might disappear without warning at anytime.2
Develop a ritual for leaving. It can help to develop a very brief routine for the process. You might inform him that you will be back after work then hug him and leave. By keeping farewells the same each time, you create a familiar transition from being with you to being without you.2
Keep your promise. You’ll build trust and independence as your child becomes confident in his ability to be without you when you stick to your promise of return.3
Prepare an activity. Make sure that the caregiver has an activity with the child as soon as you leave. Getting him engaged will take his mind off the fact that you're leaving.
Acknowledge your child’s attachment: Tell him it is fine if he misses you when you are away and that you will be back soon.
Dr. Lydia Serhal
Pediatric Gastroenterologist, Hepatologist, and Allergologist
