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Kids aren't always the most rational of human beings -- especially younger children. Sometimes, the smallest issue can turn into a major battle and strain a sibling relationship to the breaking point.
Sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up, but it can drive parents crazy. The key to minimizing disputes at home: Know when to let your kids work out their problems themselves and when to step in and play referee.
- Attention. Children are always looking for their parents' attention. When there is a new baby, it can be hard for the other child to accept losing his or her position as the center of attention. Sometimes, the parents' attention is focused on a child who is sick or has special needs (for example, because of a learning disability). Kids will act out and misbehave to get the attention they want if they feel like they’re being ignored.
- Sharing. Most households don't have unlimited resources. That means all siblings will have to share at least some of their possessions. Giving up a toy or other favorite possessions to a sibling can be especially hard on young children.
- Unique personalities. Your oldest child might be headstrong while the youngest is quieter and more introverted. Differences in temperament can lead to clashes. Age and gender differences can also lead to sibling rivalry.
- Fairness issues. Children are like little lawyers, always demanding fairness and equality and fight for what they perceive are their natural born rights.
Finding a Good Family Balance
- The screaming might be driving you nuts but avoid getting in the middle of an argument unless a child is in danger of getting hurt. Try to let your kids resolve their own issues. Stepping in won't teach your kids how to handle conflict, and it could make it seem as though you're favoring one child over another -- especially if you're always punishing the same child.
- Teach negotiation and compromise.
- Enforce rules.
Dr Ziad Abi Akar
Pediatrician
